Monday, November 30, 2009

update continued

23-AUGUST: Town meeting (not at all similar to the ones in Stars Hollow as I had hoped. Instead it’s outside by the village water pump and it’s BYOC-Bring Your Own Chair.) Discuss matters of the cow thief. A teacher in the village stole all the cows so the villagers got together and burned his house down. He wants to be given a chance to teach again but the villagers disagree. Discussions lie around trying to raise funds for a lawyer to take him to court to ensure the end of his career. Shit’s goin down.

Mother cooks, as always, and makes the usual Sunday buffet. Really good stuff. She’s a teacher by weekday, caterer by weekend, and is the sole reason for my colossal weight gain.

26-AUGUST: SA Military protests against government and raids parts of downtown Pretoria upturning cars and scaling government buildings. We are told not to worry as it is merely protest season and this sort of thing is common this time of year. I am reassured, it’s only protest season.

2-SEPTEMBER: Supervisor’s Workshop where we meet our principals for the next 2 years. It is at a fabulous resort with swimming pools, a bar, a ground level trampoline, putt-putt golf, buffets, and most importantly, showers with hot, running water! They always send us someplace nice before dumping us in the bush.

3-SEPTEMBER: Visit permanent sites. My home is really nice, it just lacks basic amenities like running water. Also, my mother tells me the pit toilet is out of order. How does a pit toilet go out of order one might ask. Well, “It sank during the last storm.” My worst nightmare has come true. Well maybe not my worst. I had a top 3 of things I feared before coming to Africa. 1. Murder 2. HIV/AIDS 3. Rape. Upon discovering that people can fall into pit toilets, that immediately became my number 4, sometimes it’s 3 (it’s a tough call. I usually go back and forth with this depending on my mood or how likely I feel getting raped is.)

Since finding this out, I’ve been curious and ask everyone about it every chance I get. It’s instantly become one of my favorite conversation starters. “So how does one fall into a pit toilet?” “And more importantly, how does one get out?” I like hearing out different answers. Some kids are naughty (“naughty” is the all-encompassing term for bad, curious, silly, your worst nightmare, ADHD, impatient, naughty, funny, misbehaved, disobedient-surprisingly it has nothing to do with being a “bad, bad girl”) and jump into the toilet. Sometimes the hole is too big (they’ve addressed this problem at primary schools by making the holes smaller). And sometimes they break or sink, like in my case. Before visiting my permanent site, my brother told me not to go when it was raining because the toilet might fall in. The ground is softer you see.

Now for question 2, what do you do after you’ve fallen in. Usually you scream for help in the hopes that someone will hear you and come to your rescue. Then they can do 1 of 2 things. They can throw a ladder down the hole, or a rope and pull you out. If the hole is too small for a ladder, they have to break open the toilet then throw the ladder down. And you should never put your phone in your back pockets, or anything for that matter. Pit toilets are notorious for having Nokias and loose change for breakfast. So anyway, my pit toilet is out of order so I’m using the family’s toilet in their home.

I know I said we had no running water. We don’t. The toilet is flushed once a day at max by pouring water into the tank. Our junk just sits there and marinates. I get really, REALLY sad when the water splashes on my bum. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, each occurrence is usually followed by a cringe, a shudder, and then my gag reflex usually kicks in. The cringe is comparable to that of when you hear nails scratching against a chalkboard, the shudder to walking into a spider web, and the gag reflex to your first Tequila shot of the night when your virgin taste buds have not yet acclimated to the 80 proof liquor.

9-SEPTEMBER: Sick, again. For the third time. I’m drinking rain water and I don’t think I boiled it long enough, but I’m having fun testing out different items and pills from my med kit. The tweezers suck, the gauze is way fun, I can’t wait till I get to use the iodine tablets, the cough drops are all gone, and the cold and flu medicine work great.

11-SEPTEMBER: Take final oral language exam.

Get my bangs cut afterward. I’ve been thinking about shaving my head for some time now. There are a few haircuts I’ve always wanted but were too scared to try out, so what better time to sport them than before I cut it all off. I’ve got nothing to lose, but my hair.






Step 1: The bangs

12-SEPTEMBER: Walk to the grocery store with brothers and cousins to pick up some food. Have a guac and garlic bread party. They finally enjoy my cooking. I tried making potatoes and omelets in the past. They were too polite to throw it out so the poor things covered their meals in every powder, sauce, and spice they could find in the house and told me it was delicious.

14-SEPTEMBER: Receive language test results. I test at the Intermediate Medium level in Setswana which is passing so I’m thrilled. And lucky. I don’t have a clue as to how I scored that and am convinced my tester wasn’t listening. Whatever the reason, I don’t have to take it again!

16-SEPTEMBER: Go to swearing in venue. An awesome casino resort with a pool bar and again, endless amounts of food and hot showers.

Get drunk and shave head. Before going all the way I execute steps 2, 3, and 4 of the plan. One was the bangs, 2. Is what I like to call the perma-part. Some people, like myself, have coarse, stubborn hair and it’s hard to find or create a part that will stay in place. I (and by I, I mean James and Kristen) therefore shaved a strip of hair where my part would originally be so that I’d never have to encounter that problem again, 3. A mohawk, 4. Fauxhawk, and 5. Is the final shaving, but actually turned out to be more of a buzz cut. I wasn’t plastered enough to go completely sans guard. And Kelsey, my partner in crime, joined me. Afterwards we rubbed our heads together and made a wish. We tried to recruit others in joining us but were unsuccessful.

Here’s how it played out:







Mentally preparing myself









James mentally preparing himself









Step 2: Perma-part









Step 3: Mohawk









Step 4: Fauxhawk







Step 5: Finito!






Kelsey's turn






Onlookers


17-SEPTEMBER: Swear in and become official PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers)! Move to permanent site. Goodbye Americans, casino, hair.

1 comment:

  1. yayayay you posted!!~ ok. time to read now.. i just got too excited so i had to comment prior to reading. love u!

    ReplyDelete